Joel 2:25 (NLT) The Lord says " I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locust and the cutting locusts"
I love this version of scripture from the NLT. It is the perfect description of my past year. I felt swarmed upon, and feeling helpless against the assault allowed the eating disorder to return and strip me down to an emotional and physical bareness; cutting myself apart bit by bit into small fractured pieces.
Today as I sit on my deck, I put my hope in this restoration. I feel the restoration slowly coming through my body, my mind and most importantly my soul. Sleep has returned, and I tolerate (not easily ) the weight. I feel a sense of normalcy returning to my life. And as I look out if the blue green waters of Walloon I find pleasure in the simple things, and of God's creation. I realize with a certain sadness how much of my life I allowed the " locusts" to steal from me in the past year.
I love the early morning watching the sun peak over the hillside. The sun is reflecting off the lake when not hidden behind quickly moving clouds. The wind is cool and powerful as it ushers the clouds beyond the hill. It is like God exhaling to reveal his splendid warmth and light of his creation. It is this exhale that breaths new life into me. Restoring me.
I fall into the silence of the moments before me. I Want to soak it all in and savor all that surrounds me. I notice the ducks. How do they swim so gracefully and effortlessly against the force of the wind? How easily they move in the rough water despite the gusting wind. They are arrogant creatures. They swim close into the shore just to aggravate the dogs. The dogs tear after them, and they swim back towards the open water daring the dogs to come in after them. The dogs retreat, and the ducks swim right back in to start the game over again and again.
There is no blue sky like the sky up her. It is clear and vibrant. The shades of blue vary from soft and pale, to bold and vibrant. The water's colors shimmer in the sunlight like the hues found in precious gems of emeralds, sapphires and diamonds. I want to be out on it on the paddle board breaking the surface, or under it hearing nothing but silence as a rise to the surface. The water is cold as the ice turned just weeks ago, but still I want to enter it.
I look at my watch. It is almost 9 am. and I should get up and ride, but I am so enjoying the sitting here on my deck watching the morning and summer on Walloon come to life. Boats buzzing from the marina their engines being tested. Children and grandchildren running down the hillside, plunging into the water despite the cold. Growing up, yet still awed by the simple pleasure of splashing in the water and rolling down the hill. Puppies that have grown up, and dogs that have grown old, and new pups to replace the ones that didn't survive the winter. Adel, almost 93 years old, no longer drives, but is still sharp and wise. The maple tree that was just an opportunistic sapling is now growing tall and gangly. It is not fully mature, but like an adolescent that has shot up quickly and waits to fill out.
New life is evident in minnows, tadpoles, June bugs, and May flies. No signs of the fox. It has been 2 years; I wonder where they have gone? The scent of lilacs blooming come on the breath of the wind. White ones intermingled with the lavender pale in color, but rich in fragrance.
The field on the hill is empty, but will soon be covered with cows and calves. Sometimes when I can't see them I hear them. This reminds of God's presence in my life. Although I don't see him, I hear his voice.
I could stay here all day, but knowing my ride will be just as enjoyable, I head out to the trail. It is along the big water of the bay. Again the water is colorful, but the bay has a power all its own. Wave swell and crash upon the shore and over the break walls smashing the blues and greens into a fine mist that sparkles like diamonds in the sun. Two small birds seem to lead my way. I follow them until they disappear into the trees. I travel on my own, breathing in the clean air allowing it to clear my mind.
I spend the rest of the day planting flowers and sitting on the dock drifting in and out of a welcomed nap until my neighbors ask me to go water skiing. Are you kidding me? Do they not know how cold the water is? Ah what the heck...skiing before Memorial Day. I am so in! Did I mention how cold the water is? I would do it again in a heart beat.
I am blessed, and for this brief time the pain and suffering of the past year fade like the sun setting behind the hills.
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