Hope Continues

Hope Continues
10/26/14

Lamentations 3:21-26 (NLT)
21 " Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, 'the lord is my inheritance
Therefore, I will hope in him!'
25 The lord is good to those who
depend on him
to those who search him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord."

I was up this week to pick the scripture and share it and my thoughts with the people.  It is lovely how it spoke to me differently from the day I felt called to use it and then today.  Today my eyes fell on the  23rd verse "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."  For this I am grateful because I wake this morning, after a night of purging, not feeling very hopeful for my recovery from the eating disorder, nerve, and even my recent resurgence of some gut issues.  My guilt manifests into true physical pain in the form of a head ache and the discomfort of my belly and even my chest flutters with some PVC's. Today I don't have to beat myself up because I feel beaten up.  I won't back down from this task, even though I feel less than worthy of reading the scripture, because in my heart I know this would serve Satan instead of God.

I read over my thoughts I have prepared for the service, and realize they speak to me even more today than when I wrote them.  Did God know about my purge before I did it?  OF course he did.  My thoughts.  I look out into the congregation and I see people that love the Lord, but I also see people like myself that are broken, sick, or facing a struggle or two or three......Maybe some of you aren't in those shoes right now and I praise Jesus for your healing and redemption in your lives. While at the same time feeling a little slighted that I am still waiting.  So I, like most of you find myself still desiring healing, recovery, and complete restoration.  The world tells me I will possibly manage my symptoms and or struggles, but never be really free of them.  Maybe you have experienced the same thing from well meaning people, counselors, or physicians in your lives?  I find myself thinking again, is there such a thing as a full recovery and totally arrested symptoms for what ails me or what ails you?  Once again, I have no clue what God has in store for you, for me, but I try not to get too discouraged because I know my God loves me and you.  He is with us!  I NEED to believe in a full recovery for me and for you, or this battle we fight every day would be futile......without hope.  This is just what Satan wants us to feel; hopeless! But I know this isn't God's will for you or for me.

When I am tired and weary I remind myself to turn to God the Father and still "dare to hope."  I also try to remember that sometimes we don't need to take some giant leap of faith, but just walk in faith and hope one small step at a time.

"His mercies never cease"  I cling to this today and wonder if I can except His mercy and grace for me: That same mercy and grace that I stand and encourage the congregation to accept.  It is easier for me to extend this invitation to the congregation, than accept it for myself.  Yes, I blew it again, but "his mercies begin afresh each morning." I hear God speak to me "Hope Liz, you must continue to hope.  Meditate on this scripture.  I will be good to you as you continue to search for me.  I will be merciful with you each new day.  Show others mercy, but accept mine and show yourself mercy and wait on me."

And if a personal word isn't enough God seems to send me a confirmation of his words in a song, Crave by King and Country.

I won't turn to dust now
Let these tears rust now
         On my face
Give me the spark now
   To believe, to see

  Hope is what we crave
And that will never change
      So I stand and wait
   I need a drop of grace
     To carry me today
   A simple song to say
It's written on my soul:
Hope's what we crave

So today I will wait and I will dare to hope for my spark of healing even through my tears.